Winners don't use drugs... or do they?

"Jesus the cocaine sniffing savior", originally uploaded by Thearley.

Chile 3-1 Bolivia
Reporter: "our man in Santiago"

Jorrit the Dutchman and myself made our way to the Estadio nacional a few hours earlier to ensure we got some good seats. However it seems that the rest of Chile had the same idea also. We must have stuck out in the crowd as we milled about looking for somewhere to sit because they started pelting us with cups and various other pieces of waste. I quickly deduced that we were definitely not in the family section.

We skulked like the cowards we are to row ZZ (right at the back) primarily so nobody could throw things down on us (I still ended up with confetti in my hair some how). We sat there for near on an hour and a half (thats how early we were) and tried to blend into the crowd. Jorrit bought all the memorablia he could to make himself look like a Chilean but just ended up making himself look like an american tourist. I settled for a Chilean flag which I hoped would double as a weapon if needed (as it happens the pole made of flimsy postal tubing stuff snapped during the first half).

The wait was worth it, the game opened as a physical encounter and the ref was enjoying using his whistle and cards so much that it began to look like a gridiron game (stop-start-stop-start-stop-start......NO STOP!!!). It wasn't long before the inevitable red card came out and Chile were down to ten men. In fairness the bugger deserved to be given his marching orders (he could have got a game with yatala old boys).

Not more than 5 minutes later, Luis Fuentes rose above the Bolivian defence (average height 4 foot nothing) to connect with an in-coming corner and headed the ball goalwards. The Bolivian keeper had obviously been to the same school of goalkeeping as David Seaman because he looked like a dick as he flapped about trying to save it. However to no avail and Chile found themselves a man down but a goal to the good 30 minutes in.

Jorrit and I joined in the singing of "no tienen mar" (you don't have sea) which refers to Bolivia being landlocked as a result of Chile stealing their patch of coastline in about 1884. Another favourite is "vamos a la playa" (lets go to the beach). We didn't have long to learn the lines though as Chile went another goal ahead.

Luis Fuentes found himself on the score sheet again with this second strike, pretty reminscent of his first; another corner although this time no-one connected and it was hoofed back into the box for Fuentes to practice what is obviously his favourite drill.

The second half was more of the same, Chile dominated but their attack was quite weak and they never really broke through. I was beginning to think they could only score from set pieces when Marcelo Salas (who hadn't done anything all game) found the ball in his path, stuck his foot out and ball found net.

Bolivia scored a concilation goal towards the end of the game, but it was of no consequence. The points and the night belonged to Chile, and didn't they know it back at the flat.

Jorrit (who by now is regretting coming to Eduardo's flat) and I arrived back at the flat at about midnight. The plan had been to have a few quiet drinks after the game with Eduardo and Jesus. Upon arrival, the two of them were completely rat-arsed, the Chileans must be like the Japanese or something- they can't handle their drink. Anyway we were greeted in the customary hug and let me kiss your cheek with my smelly breath gesture. Later in the night other dickheads would come-sniff and go, by this point Jesus had decided he would celebrate the victory by sniffing an andean ski field up his nose. He was later to be found laying on the floor wrapped in toilet paper with his arm elegantly shoved up his shirt (I wanted to shove it somewhere else!)

It was a pretty awful evening not least because of the company, but because Jorrit and I bought most of the booze and yet drank very little of it. Eduardo is one of those guys who never buys anything yet consumes almost all of what you have. I have this weekend resolved to kill the "plant" before I leave. I invite readers to offer suggestions of how to kill it and secondly I need a code name for my operation (Nick you love code names, what do you think?)

Take care all.