Total Football (Formerly titled: Shove your f*@#ing AFL up your f@$#ing arse sideways !!)

What a week for Australian football and I am not talking about the egg shaped ball variety, rather the beautiful game that unites so many globally regardless of creed, colour or religion. Firstly, unless you've been living in a cave, you'll realise that Australia has qualified for the World Cup (world's largest sporting event bar none) for the first time since 1974. Secondly, closer to home Adelaide United have consolidated their place at the top of the A-League. And lastly, however certainly not leastly, the Iron Chefs vindicated this seasons hard work by lifting the Windsor Castle Division 3 title after a nail biting final.

This week's world cup qualifying tie between Australia and Uruguay should I feel go to show that on the world stage AFL pales into insignificance by comparison. Those of us who watched it on the TV will remember the atmosphere that resonated through our screens, then imagine actually being there as a few lucky friends and my old man were- I am sure in time they will grace us with there own comments corroborating my argument that there is no substitute to watching your country in such a life and death struggle of the beautiful game. There exists no paralell in AFL to this, quite simply AFL will never and cannot ever hope to emulate the kind of global appeal that football generates.

My chief beef is with dickbrains like Graham Cornes, who argues that the name Soccer should still be applied to the round ball game and Kevin Sheedy, who recently suggested that Melbournians should attend the "hybrid" (I use the term with a sufficiently mocking tone) international rules test rather than the Victory's home fixture against Adelaide United. Firstly Graham Cornes should get out of his car yard a little more often, and quite frankly the Advertiser ought to rebuke his weekly column because I know of few people who value "Cornesy's" opinion that much.

With regards to Kevin Sheedy, I'd say only this: in the sentiments of the great Liverpool manager Bill Shankly, football is not a case of life and death, it's more important than that. This is certainly a sentiment that Melbournians have come to understand, given (A) the large and vocal crowds that the Victory have drawn to Olympic park and (B) the huge crowd that gathered in Federation Square earier this week to watch Australia create history on the big screens. It is probably hopeless to think I can single handedly convert every Australian to the round ball game and of course sheer folly to prophesise the coming of AFL's death knell, however it is important to note this week in the evolutionary tale of Australian football and recognise that the 82, 000 strong crowd in Sydney and the countless millions nationwide that followed and watched the game couldn't give a monkey's toss what sporting bigots like Graham Cornes and Kevin Sheedy say, think or do. So far as I am concerned, such people can remain in their ivory towers whilst the enlightened majority bask in the glow of a new dawn in football for Australia.

Turning to other news; a season of dedication and perseverance paid off tonight for the Iron Chefs who emerged victorious from a close run final to hold aloft the Division 3 title. 1-0 down at half time, Thearley levelled for the yellow army after a goalkeeping error and the Chefs played out normal time for a draw. Golden goal extra time saw the Chefs dominate and Bucky Reitano snatched the winner a la bresciano. It should be noted however that it wasn't all plain sailing for the Chefs, initially scared by going a goal down as No Gary No contrived to steal the Chef's glory. To the Chef's credit though, they pushed harder and harder as a team; an effort that ultimately paid off. The team has truly come of age, the level of dedication amongst the players is demonstrative of the level of team bonding that has grown since the teams inception nigh on a year ago. The Chefs will be back next season the defend their crown and new members are always welcome.

As a closing note; Adelaide United vs Sydney FC, Sun 27/11, 4.30pm kickoff
Support your local side and the growth of the game, we should get our own little Red Army together and march on Hindmarsh. Anyone who wants to see Dwight Yorke of Aston Villa/Manchester United/Trinidad&Tobago fame let me know.